Yesterday, while driving home from yet another doctor’s visit, a song came on the radio that comes on all the time. A song I probably hear 3 times a week. I almost always sing along. But yesterday, on I-20, whizzing past the outlet mall construction and Bass Pro, I was a little bit surprised to find tears streaming down my face. I didn’t make it through the first line of the song.
We pray for blessings, we pray for peace, comfort for family, protection while we sleep.
Conviction began to sweep over me as I thought about my prayers of the past 2 or 3 weeks.
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
And it’s hitting my like a ton of bricks. We’re passing the airport exit when the good part comes
And all the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
Even when I don’t pray for the right things, he provides exactly what he knows I need. And sometimes that may not be comfort or a life free of suffering.
'Cause what if your blessings come through rain drops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know You're near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
And I think about the sleepless night before while I begged God to please let me know what it is he’s trying to teach me.
We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear
We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt your goodness, we doubt your love
As if every promise from Your word is not enough
Had I been doubting his goodness, his love, and even his promises. Looking for an answer to my doubts in the clouds, rather than in his Word.
And then the good part again
And all the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe
And I know that he has heard my desperate pleas for mercy for our family all along. I know that everything that he has ordained to happen in our lives is for his glory and our good. I also know that there are a million and one ways that things could be worse for us. A temporary time of trouble had blinded me to a world overflowing with blessings. I am beginning to understand that the very 5 pint-size blessings that God has given us are going to be cause for heart-ache sometimes. They are my blessings and my rain drops, if that makes sense. The great love that we have for them leaves us vulnerable to hurt. I think that any parent might understand that.
And that makes me think about the love that our Father has for us and how our pain is his pain. Just like I hurt when my children hurt.
Look at how great a love the Father has given us that we should be called God's children. And we are! (1 John 3:1)
Now I think I’ll cuddle with the little blonde-haired blessing in my lap.